Your tequila choice says a lot about you. Let’s judge accordingly.
Blanco On the Rocks
You are: The Purist You’re here for the agave and the vibes—nothing more. You likely own at least one linen shirt, refuse to use sour mix, and say things like “you haven’t had real tequila until you’ve had it neat.”
Vibe Check: You read labels, use sea salt, and probably made your own bitters once.
Blanco Margarita (Salted Rim, Extra Lime)
You are: The Crowd-Pleaser You like your drinks how you like your friends: easygoing, no surprises. You probably initiated the group chat and always bring an appetizer to the party.
Vibe Check: You’re dependable, slightly sunburned, and yell “IT’S 5 O’CLOCK SOMEWHERE” year-round.
Strawberry or Spicy Margarita
You are: The Main Character You’re not here for a long time, you’re here for an Instagram story highlight. You accessorize with Tajín, flirt with bartenders, and know which angles hit best in golden hour.
Vibe Check: You’ve said “this is so me” unironically while sipping your own drink.
Reposado Neat
You are: The Quiet Flex You’re classy but chill. You don’t brag—you just know you have good taste. You probably have a vinyl collection and make a mean guacamole from scratch.
Vibe Check: You pretend not to notice people noticing you.
Tequila Old Fashioned
You are: The Sophisticated Queen/King You don’t “drink,” you sip. You say things like “notes of vanilla” and “it opens up after a few minutes.” You probably brought your own shaker or batched cocktail to the party.
Vibe Check: Your idea of a wild night is a cigar, jazz, and a deeply introspective monologue.
Cristalino with One Fancy Ice Cube
You are: The Luxe Minimalist You want flavor, smoothness, and aesthetic—all in one sip. You don’t like clutter, commitment, or confrontation. You show up late, stay late, and leave a little mystery behind.
Vibe Check: You drink with your pinky slightly lifted. Always.
Shots, No Chaser
You are: The Chaos Agent You appreciate the taste-and always choose additive-free—but, you came to start the party. You start dance circles, lose one shoe, and regret that 2:16am FaceTime.
Vibe Check: You are 15% fun, 85% flight risk.
Tequila Sunrise
You are: The Nostalgic Romantic You like your drinks pretty and your nights nostalgic. You’re the first to say “this song is a vibe,” and the last to leave the karaoke mic.
Vibe Check: You do it for “the ‘gram” and post pictures post vacation with the caption “bring me back”.
Paloma (But Make It Fancy)
You are: The Trendsetter You’re effortlessly cool and painfully aware of it. You order off-menu, know the bartender’s dog’s name, and casually drop “mezcal is more your thing” when someone asks what you drink.
Vibe Check: You’ve never been wrong about a bar, a breakup, or a brunch spot—and you’ll remind everyone of that mid-sip, unprompted.
Whatever Everyone Else is Having
You are: The Wild Card You adapt, you flow, and you never initiate the toast—but you somehow always give the best one. Everyone loves you. You love… not choosing.
Vibe Check: You’ll drink a spicy marg, a mezcal Negroni, and a frozen Paloma all in one night—and somehow still be thriving while everyone else is crying in the Uber.
The Takeaway
Your tequila order says more about you than your horoscope, Spotify Wrapped, and Tinder profile combined.
Whether you’re the chaos agent shooting Blancos or the know-it-all trendsetter sipping a designer Paloma, just remember: It’s not what you drink, it’s how you drink it. (But also… what you drink matters. So drink the good stuff.)
Cheers to being exactly who you are—with a damn good tequila in hand.
